1.You Need Your Friends
Sometimes even the best of us get so caught up in a relationship that our friends occasionally get left behind. But that’s okay – your true best friends will still be there for you no matter what! Who else is going to listen to you go on for hours about how much you don’t care at all when it literally could not be more clear that you do as you cry into your wine? Who else is going to bring you that wine then take you out dancing and flirting, reminding you constantly how much of a loser your ex is and how much better you are without? Who else is going to remind you that you are still an awesome person with so much to offer outside of a romantic relationship? Thank god for friends!
2.Not Everyone is Perfect, Including Yourself!
It’s so easy, when in the dizzying heights of a good relationship, to feel that you are both these infallible fated beings who are just made for each other. Who – despite any disagreements or fundamental differences – are destined to end up together. A bad breakup is the perfect medicine to serve as a rough reminder that there is no such thing as “perfect”, and that though flaws are can be hard to see during the good times, sometimes two people are just going to be incompatible, no matter how much you want it to work. Letting go of that image of romantic perfection in your mind will help you in every relationship – romantic or otherwise – to be honest about what you could be doing better.
3.But Love Yourself Anyway!
Loving yourself, feeling good and worth, is essential to feeling complete, and being able to love anyone else. I’m not saying that you should spend 5 hours a day admiring yourself in the mirror, but it’s important that you know your self-worth at all times. In the words of countless iconic women and the best rom-com characters “you are a strong independent woman” – so stay away from people that make you feel like you’re hard to love!
4.Mistakes Can Be Too Easy to Make
Isn’t it strange that even with years of beautiful experiences with someone else, it’s the nasty things they have said in anger that we remember the most vividly? We often don’t realise how easy it can be to hurt someone. Little things we say or dates we forget and things we don’t consider important – they are small slips of attention that, though they may seem insignificant to us, can hurt the people we’re with. It’s often not until things are over and the dust has settled that we can see the places where we took a wrong turn. Empathy can be a hard thing to keep in focus, but it’s something we can never let ourselves forget.
No matter how long you spend in a relationship it’s important to remember once it has ended that you were just fine before them, and even though it hurts right now, you will be fine without them too. We often give up parts of ourselves to please our partners in a relationship, to compromise and to bend to their lives – often at the expense of what we wanted. And when you break up, it can be like a splash of cold water, reminding you how far you’ve come from where you wanted to be. Re-learning how to be yourself, to follow your own dreams, and to do things the way you wanted can be painful – but it does make you grow.
6.Everything Is Actually Going To Be Okay
For some unknown reason, no matter how many times we may have had our heart broken in the past, we always get that feeling straight after a break up that we are going to be stuck in the crippling fog of depression and regret for the rest of our lives. It’s a tunnel that we can’t see the end of, and sometimes we’d rather linger in the darkness of it than get out there and move forward with our lives. But eventually we do. Getting your heart broken makes you realize, after it’s over and you can actually go extended periods of time without thinking about your ex, that even this moment of pain has its end.
7.Self-care Is Irreplaceable
Whatever makes you feel good – dancing alone in your underwear, “singing” horrible karaoke, buying a whole new wardrobe with countless accessories to match, whatever – you should do it. Do it, and feel good about it. Take extra time in hot baths, get lost in new books, try on all of your new clothes and discover your body again, watch whatever cheesy movie your heart desires over and over. And don’t apologize. Use your broken heart to indulge in long, wonderful moments spent doing exactly what you love, repairing yourself with the kind of attention and simple joy that we deserve to feel every day but rarely actually allow ourselves. You deserve to feel amazing.
8.You’re Going to Love Again
There will come a time, whether or not you believe it right now in the depths of your heart break, that you will meet someone new and again feel the rush of infatuation and earnest desire to start something new. The best part of a broken heart is realizing that it can be repaired, and that the end of one thing is the start of something new. Sure, this new love might result in heartbreak, but life is too full of opportunity not to take that risk again. Everything happens for a reason, so ending it with one person could be making way for the person.
Article by Molly Ashby